Liberation by Surrender

I always fought so recklessly for my own freedom.

Thrashing and gnashing, yet I only became more restricted.

Chains were there but I didn’t give them notice.

Instead I looked outward, away, and afar.

I paid no heed to the tugs on my soul,

And I ignored the slow warning song of my heartstrings.

Consumed and carried away I continued,

Exercising unearned privileges and wasting the true cherishables.

Unfortunately, I cared more for the perishables.

I poured my life and my lungs into exhausting heaves and sighs.

I was left breathless.

But somehow the numbness masked the pain.

The surface betrayed the depth of my actions.

I was conceived, by none other than myself.

And soon I began to feel the shackles chaffing my flesh.

They began to dig in, to fester, to tighten.

So I writhed and I rampaged.

I abandoned teachings and proverbs.

I cast down wisdom as foolery.

I was digging quickly my own grave.

But then I realized that the more I fought, the more I was caught.

By divine intervention, I came to.

I laid down the spade, the sword, and the fight.

Never before had I considered surrender.

Never before had I viewed the white flag as a symbol of strength.

I began to see that humility trumps pride, any day of the week.

On my knees, I felt the dirt in my fingers.

I felt the truth that I had been stomping on for so long.

The grains of dust felt comforting in my hands.

I marveled at the view from the floor.

Before, I saw it as a place of weakness.

Before, it seemed a place shame.

But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

From the ground you see truth.

You recognize your own smallness.

You appreciate the blessings once taken for granted.

You see people for who they are, beneath the exterior.

You learn of patience, humility, and love.

You become a washer of feet.

O the strength!

O the humility!

O the joy!

I find that my heart has begun healing.

My soul has begun to sing.

I feel my spirit lift, as sails in the wind.

The seed of righteousness breaks through the surface.

My grief and my sorrow are released.

Fears have set sail, never to return again.

Pains are gone.

Stains are gone.

Wholeness has come.

And peace has come.

I am liberated by grace, and by love.

“The chains are gone, I’ve been set free.

My God, my Savior has ransomed me!”

O the grace.

O the love.

What power and glory come from sacrifice!

What strength and humility come from surrender!

I am finally free,

I am finally free.